It seems somewhat ironic to me that the day that my siblings are all leaving Provo and moving on into big person world, is also Easter Sunday.
Easter is a day focused around the happiness and joy of the resurrection of our Savior, and what it means for our future destiny as his children. He came back from the dead, to be among the living. Yet inside I just feel an emptiness that I can only compare to what the saints must have felt as they watched their Savior be removed from the cross and laid in a tomb. This individual that meant so much to them, their older brother, was gone. In spite of what he said regarding his resurrection, they must have felt so confused and lost as the one they held their confidences in had offered himself up freely. Surely there would never be a time where they could feel happiness again.
So it is also with the graduation of my two older brothers. They came to BYU with a mission, and we were lucky enough to all be here to experience it together. All 5 Glazier siblings at BYU at the same time. It was too good to be true. I remember being on my mission and thinking how hard it would be for all of us to ever be together again at the same time for an extended period of time. But the planets aligned and we got to share in some of the best times together. We camped out for basketball games for days on end. We had dinner together every Sunday, each taking turns preparing fun food for a mass of people. Fondue nights were everyone's favorite. There were a lot of times where I truly felt like this time here together was going to last forever. Sure people left during the summer months to go to internships and the likes, but there was the surety that come August, everyone would safely return. Well, they have finished the work they come to do. They are now both a Master of Business and Doctor of Juris Prudence. There is nothing left for them to do here in the land of school, it is finished.
So it's Easter morning now, and there is a Penske truck headed to Arizona, and another caravan headed to Oregon. Lisa and I are sitting on an air mattress in our furniture-less room that has carefully organized piles of our possessions lining the walls, and I'm trying not to be sad. I feel like the ones whom I respect and admire so much, have left me and I'm here alone in Provo-world trying to figure out when my time will come. I'm beginning my own three days of darkness the apostles and early christians experienced after Christ died. How can I possibly do this alone without their friendship and support?
I don't have to, and that's the point.
One of the greatest blessings that has come from this time together is the foundation we have established of friendship and love. It actually started a long time ago when our parents enforced family dinner and introduced the contention box. My parents understood the immense power that comes from mutual admiration among siblings. They fostered that strength and it has become this force to be reckoned with as we have become married adults working to build our own families. I suppose I should be angry with my parents because it's that affection we share that makes these partings so difficult, and they started it. But that would be ridiculous because I wouldn't trade this love I have for them for anything. Christ felt that too, and wasn't even willing to sacrifice his own personal comforts to risk us not being able to be with him again.
So it comes full circle. Easter is about Christ and his return to mortality, and the hope it gives us that we can be together again, and that hope is what I need. I have the greatest hope that I will be able to be with my brothers, sister and parents again. Fortunately we are all still living and the connection can be felt with a quick phone call or skype session, but there is nothing that compares with sitting in the same room with each other laughing over stories of childhood embarrassments or cheering on your favorite sports team. It's not that these moments won't happen again, on the contrary, I highly expect them to happen often. But it's the proximity that makes them more frequent and enjoyable. If I could have my way, they would stick around until we were all done. But while I love them, I wouldn't wish an eternity in Provo on anyone.
In the end, I guess really it's not as ironic as I originally though, in fact it's more appropriate than I ever realized. Easter helps us remember the hope and happiness that comes from our potential reunion with our Savior as we come to the end of our lives. So while we have not come to the end of our lives, but merely the end of a season of our lives, I hope for a time not far distant when we can laugh and spend time together again and remember the time we were all at BYU together.
1 comment:
It's always hard when you reach the end of an era. It's hard to imagine that the future can compare to the good memories you have.
If you need to hang out with Robyn and I more often to fill the void, we would be willing to help out with the cause.
Post a Comment